Break time! Pausing my writing compositions for a post dedicated to this fear-lover’s fav scary TV theme songs. Click each title if you want to hear its theme. If there are any I’ve overlooked, add them in the comments section and mention where it would fall on the countdown. If there are any of mine you agree with, comment which one and add to that your favorite memories associated with that show. Let the countdown begin:
10. Tales From the Crypt – It’s got the elements of what is supposed to be scary, technically. However, it is just too orchestrally sound to rise higher than the bottom of the list. Sorry buds. Plus, the Crypt Keeper never scared me because he just did a bunch of puns in his intros and puns aren’t scary, they’re hilari(ous).
9. Six Feet Under – We start with some stabbing isolated harpsichord-like chords, notes that have no business being played together. Ok, cool. Then we have some pizzicato and some oboe solos that make you feel a little wary. However, there is a bit of a whimsy to it so you’re landing second from last.
8. House – This isn’t even a horror or macabre TV show at all. It’s about a grouchy genius doctor. However, that didn’t stop me from having a hard time listening to this opening alone in the house without needing to look over my shoulder.
7. Are You Afraid of the Dark? – I kind of forgot why I placed this seventh, but I think it was the echo effect and the heart beat and junk. Eh, I mean, it’s a kids show, with all Canadian actors, filmed in Canada. What’s to be scared of? Hahaha. Idk. I’ll leave it 7th anyway. Sue me.
6. The X-Files – Aliens chill me. More than that, so do minor-key synthesized melodies whilst looking at pictures of UFO’s.
5. Tales From the Darkside – It has that painfully slow, music box feel to it. And ain’t no one not trembling for that. That is a triple negative, meaning that yes, we are trembling.
4. The Twilight Zone – Who knew that doppler-effect horns, jazz flutes, and bongos could mess with me so much?
3. Stranger Things – Hellish electronic arpeggios for dayyyys! Yasssssss!
2. American Horror Story – I honestly don’t even know what plane of existence some of these noises are coming from. I. Am. Afraid.
1. Unsolved Mysteries – Coming in at number one, hands down! This one is absolutely terrifying to me and always has been. I literally had a hard time even listening to all of it on YouTube when I went to find the link to put on this post. I am shaaaaking! Ahhhhhh! (I love it. Still, I didn’t listen to the whole thing. I just couldn’t make it. Hahahahaha.)
Now here are a couple bonus TV show theme songs that I love. Except for neither of these are scary. So what? You wanna fight me about it?
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert – I don’t even watch this show really. I haven’t seen a single episode all the way through, just a couple bits here and there. I’m not even much of a jazz/soul music fan. But when something is good, I give credit where due. So so very catchy. If you look up catchy in the dictionary, you see this song there.
Perfect Strangers – Ok, so I used to get up in the wee hours of the morning in high school and go jogging. When I got back, I would do stretches on the floor of my bedroom and get ready for the day while watching the news on my little TV. That was until I became so disillusioned by the headlining stories that were broadcast. It seemed to me that the worst of the worst, the scum of the world was being placed on that screen and being fed to us as if that was what we should value and base our attitudes on. I was just sickened. It was all too negative and pointless to me. There’s no way this is what constitutes the majority of goings on in the world. It wasn’t even informational anymore, just like gore and garbage and hate.
As a macabre/dark story fan, even I have my boundaries and contrary to the opinion of any readers of this site, I am not a dark-minded person whatsoever.
Anyway, I vowed to stop watching and I have pretty much kept that vow to this day. I virtually never watch the news. It’s extremely seldom.
So at that time there were old reruns playing of this show, Perfect Strangers, on another channel. The theme song uplifted my spirits, as cheezy as that sounds it really did. So I watched it instead of the news. And I was grateful for it having been there. Enjoy!
Alpha Bravo Charlie – I have this third bonus theme. Oopsie. This is just a great theme song. So beautiful it makes me ache. It’s hard to listen to it’s that good.
The OA – Speaking of ache, I love this one above all other themes. In fact, I love it so much, it would be an insult for me to even elaborate. (I started to cry just now…literally.)