I Want to Be Like Those Nimh Rats

I make a mistake repeatedly

It’s a failure on my part

A failure

To forget that
I’m not special

That’s not to say
I’m inferior to fellow man,
Not to mean I’ve low self-esteem

I grew tired of laps on the Facebook go ’round
(Stayed active for the sake of a good friend and a couple others until finally I took it to the basement for dormant storage)
Then Snapchat ran its course bullet fast, followed by Instagram
And I think finally the WordPress Farce has
Smacked me in the face
Good and hard

Even the observation I’m about to point out is not special either. (I’m perhaps one of millions who have already said it. But, it’s my first official time so I guess it’s fine, once, to say it out in my FFP way)

Trading likes for likes, follows for follows
Just numbers and numbers contained within a hamster’s wheel
Numbers that move numerically upwards but never move us forward

Not much around here is based in actual merit and quality–Trust me, I am definitely not trying to imply that my writing has merit or quality that a choir of cherubs needs to sing over–I watch bloggers sugar each other up
Sticky as fuck
But nobody is actually liking much at all (in the literal sense, not the button clicking sense)
Hardly anyone is reading or really seeing what is there to be seen

(If I am profoundly wrong in saying any of this, may I stand corrected)

So I wonder and I wonder
Who frosting-smeared our integrity?

I can’t get down with the lack of that

I’m not saying I’ve not a couple honest fellow blogger friends
That wouldn’t be true
(I’ve got a best friend and a couple actual friends–that is a whole separate category and that person(s) actually knows me–they are not part of this declarative whatever-the-fuck I’m trying to say–you should half-way ignore me)

But I started to wonder what I’m doing here
I’ve never been one to care about popularity
For popularity’s sake

And I’m certainly not aiming for fame
Or to pluck from cash-bearing trees

I love writing so much I’m actually crying
Right now
Thinking about it
In the presence of only this chromebook to see my

Pink eyes

I’ve come this far but I still have lots more to realize
And improve on the things that I do realize
(In writing and otherwise)

I think it’s best that I acknowledge the positive opportunity that WordPress
Does provide
And that is a free perceived audience (And once in a while, an actual one)
The few times I’ve sent pieces to publishers, it scared the shit out of me and even before rejection/acceptance came back, I suddenly was thunder-hit
By what was wrong with it
And I thought about how blind I was
And how grateful I was to see what was still juvenile or ineffective with that piece

But the “likes” and the “follows” weren’t why I came here and can’t be allowed to concern me in and of themselves
And comments I may have made on strangers’ blogs may be perceived
As a plea
For a reciprocal one, (or God forbid perceived as a flirt-romantic interest, no, no, no, no)
I never intended it that way;
I just legitimately like talking about what I read/write, every bone-shard detail

I guess I’m saying that the whole interactive part of any social media that is done purely for the sake of numbers/recognition itself, cheapness, and not for the sake of the content posted or for some kind of respite, importance, introspection, ultimate betterment…ain’t working for me personally

So let me hold fast to this:
(As I’ve done pretty well so far anyway)
My writing (and discussions about writing, whether posted here, in my own journal, or submitted to publishers) has to be done
For God’s sake
For Love’s sake

May my frontal-lobe slate
Always remain in this state

41 thoughts on “I Want to Be Like Those Nimh Rats

Add yours

  1. FFP, this be brave. Aye, so it is, to say something real and true and honest, I is be read it thrice and yawped. Hey, did you know Salinger was secretly a rapper (and is Slim Shady’s real father) whose best hit never got released? “F**k the Phonies.” He was part of N.W.A That’s Nimh Rat With Attitude. πŸ˜› eeeeee

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you very much, famileee. This topic is really important to me. And, I know, right? Where are the horses at Pencey Prep? πŸ™‚ You know, Holden, in being an unreliable narrator (in the sense that he lies or has a skewed perception somewhat) is actually very effective. It’s smart because we eventually see right through him and get to the truth and to his heart without him having to be overly hokey throughout. Same with Huck Finn–he’s a liar, and also naive. Incidentally, later, his lying actually does others some good which is a cool and rare thing. Yeah, just saying. πŸ™‚ eeeeeee — that’s 7 e’s.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! (23 e’s)
        Also, yesssss, there’s this entire group of Goodreaders (more like badreaderes–please kill me I’m running out of my sense of humor) who hate on the book by saying that Holden is the number one phony of them all. That’s the fucking point. Shames as it does to admit it, I’ll admit it and admit to my own phonieness–I ain’t read Huckaberry Finn. I’ve read Tom Sawyer ( a couple hundred times). Got my hands on Huckabee Finn (he’s the great great great grandfather or something of Sarah Huckabee Sanders) last month.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. confession: I actually counted the e’s…and before that, I counted the layers in that cake. both of them 23. please tell me you literally told that chicken story to someone. if you didn’t just lie to me and tell me they laughed. hahah jk jk jk

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh finally! Some perspective on the WP world. Full disclosure, I do go a tad sugary on some other bloggers – mostly because saying something nice makes me smile and this carries through into my everyday life. Yet I too struggle with follower numbers, reciprocation etc. I’m at the stage where I only comment when I’m entertained or β€œfeel” the words or truly admire the attempt. See something in it.
    What truly worries me is having hundreds of followers yet not being read anymore by a vast majority. What is going on? Can’t I unfriend these follower seekers?
    I would trade a hundred followers for a single honest comment.
    Like this one 😊❀️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi lovely Diana woman, yeah as i was saying in another comment on this thread, it’s important to me that I follow my integrity when it comes to what is being just polite, what is being false, what is being genuine and what is being my usual bubbly self for my actual friends / close blogger friends. Thanks for being here and glad of our similar spirits and yay! πŸ™‚ ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It must be hard, with such a bubbly nature, to stay within the confines of healthy online behaviours. It makes no sense to be disingenuous right! Hopefully my good manners are never misconstrued like that.

        I’m thrilled to be here hanging with a cool entertaining blogger such as you. Hooray! ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes! Exactly right, and like Diana says…”Oh finally!”.

    I’ve been struggling with this all for so long now and just haven’t had the courage to write it down. So, thank you!

    I make a point of ‘liking’s only when I like, commenting if something has genuinely connected with me and that way I can stay true to myself. Likes for likes, I don’t do, couldn’t in all conscience. I can’t properly reblog on my phone and this is where I’m at, so don’t reblog much. But, although reblogging is good blog etiquette, it becomes ridiculous at times, seeing the SAME piece of writing shared over and over again. I liked it ONCE (possibly) ffs. Is it expected for me to like it two, three…ten more times? So instead I get angry, disillusioned, lose any piece of confidence I had because I’m not one of the ELITE writers, wish I was (for a day) and then realise that I don’t give a shit – except I DO! I love, LOVE writing too and I can honestly say that this blog of yours, is the best one I’ve read for ages.

    Thank you!! X

    Liked by 3 people

    1. S, hope you know I also have seen something special in your posts–a distinct, frank voice that draws you in. i enjoy the way you do it. And you know I get email notifications on your posts πŸ˜‰ haha. glad to know you and glad the feeling is mutual. And thank you so much for the compliment about my blog. Glad this post had meaning and made a difference to you as it did for me. Have a great week! xo


  4. Can I reblog this? ha!
    the post i did recently about social media, i mentioned how i ponder the way WP fits in to all of it… i do like the sharing of art, and i do like meeting others who think these exact same thoughts you’ve shared, eg everyone who’s commented here 😊
    ugh i hate the like for like etc or the perceived plea for attention, when i’m just genuinely enjoying reading something. At the end of the day, the talent on WP has enriched my life, and meeting people like you! Perspective is obviously a good thing, (But if you’re thinking of leaving WP, my two cents is that you don’t, i love your writing. 😁)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Vanesssss, sure! you don’t have to ask permission, I have no problem with you reblogging it. Thanks and I wouldn’t want you to leave either. πŸ™‚ so, no I don’t plan to leave, just want to keep my own, personal integrity intact/improving as best I can. Break free of a few things, you know what I mean? I can’t speak for other people and I have no right telling anyone what they should or shouldn’t do with their social media. I have no right deciding who is acting in a cheap way and who isn’t, nor do I know who is doing it without even realizing it. That’s their own journey. It’s not a simple issue and I agree there is an array of positive and negative things here that a person can be a part of. All I can do is give people the benefit of the doubt up front and also make sure that I’m acting in a way that I can be proud of. Thank you again, Vanessa my friend. ❀

      Liked by 2 people

  5. You make a strong point here. The ‘Like’ button is a convenient way to say, ‘Hey, I read your post and found it interesting. Got nothing much to add, but thanks for the post.’ But it doesn’t encourage the sort of interaction and communication that benefits a community. I don’t know what the solution is, but you’ve laid out the issue very effectively here.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Margot, thank you for the compliment about the effectiveness of this one. I understand what you’re saying. I guess I didn’t offer a solution other than what I can personally do to keep my character and integrity in check. I’m still trying to figure out where the line is between being polite and being flippant and being sincere and selectively attentive. Also, another thing that is important to me personally is that when it comes to male bloggers, that I not be part of something that resembles that of a dating site with flirtiness, etc. Thanks for reading and I hope you are well.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on SPO_OKY and commented:
    I am compelled to share this, if only because the content is something that has been on the tip of my fingers for such a long time. (I’m sorry, FFP, not sorry). ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your opinion. Wait, so what you’re saying is you wrote something with a similar assertion as mine but then, when others commented in a way that made it clear it rubbed them wrong, it changed your mind and now you see “likes” as business cards? Is that an accurate statement? Also, as Say No To Clowns said, I would like to know what you wrote and more than that would like to know what the comments were too, the ones that changed your mind. As you told SNTC it was not on wordpress but if you still have it, feel free to paste that stuff here in the comments of my post here if you’d like. As I said in another reply on this post, I wouldn’t know how exactly to assess what others should or shouldn’t be rubbed wrong about. I didn’t feel as though anything I wrote in this particular post was a clearly or severely offensive or crossing any line. All I know is, right now, what I posted felt very right to me personally and felt like it was helpful to me personally. Have a good day.


  7. I agree. I would estimate that 80% of the interactions are the “like for like”, “follow for follow”. But what keeps me going are the other 20%. Those bloggers and instagram buddies that take the next step. The emails and direct messages from people who truly care. Those who I have an extra connection with and they with me. I would not have met them if it had not been for sifting through the original 80%!
    They are the ones who make it worthwhile 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent point. Amen for those rare birds. You’re right. Once in a lifetime you find someone or two or three that are gold! Thanks for your comment D! πŸ™‚ I much prefer taking that positive-minded approach that you have . focusing on the 20% or 1% or whatever minority it is. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve been thinking about the Rats of Nimh recently! Wondering if my kid is still too young for it! πŸ˜‰
    In terms of WP/social media, I think there’s something to be said for reciprocity. But it’s good to be straight-up about it. I only participate in the poetry-share-fests if I have time to go around and like/comment on other people’s stuff. And, in general, if people take the time to ‘like’ my blog, I’ll try to return the favour. I don’t see it as fake. Otherwise, I tend to only comment if something really strikes me or I have something to say!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Claire, thanks for the feedback. I totally hear what you’re saying. And the Rats of Nimh, yeah it does seem like it’s got a complex plot that doesn’t seem to hold the attention of really young viewers. Such a great movie though. So much majestic fantasy and sci-fi. have a great day! πŸ™‚


  9. I found your post to be
    full of keenly interesting
    observations & refrehingly
    The ‘special’ reference was
    in response to your statement asserting
    that you yourself are not
    Everybody is ‘unique’,
    inntheir own special way.


    1. Thanks for the compliments. I just kinda went into automode and wrote so I’m glad that in that mindset what came out was meaningful and of interest and refreshing. That gives me hope for my journey as a writer and a person. Thanks again. appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

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