Just Wait ’til You Hear What You Did!

Doesn’t everybody love
Great news?
And I’ve finally got a bit to share.
Are you sitting down?

It actually involves you
And you’re no doubt
To feel proud when you

Find out.

Congratulations are in order,
I think, because you did it!
Precisely you aimed your daggers,

And achieved.

And you’re a man of
Goals,
Devoted, even when it appeared

Bleak.

You see, I’ve just spent
Nine hundred hours
Crying.

No lie.

Wanted you to realize; who am I
To deny
You of the pride you will have

About crushing me

So complete,
So flat,
That there ain’t no coming back!

My favorite, floral blouse
Destroyed
By sorrow, mucus,

And blood

From my nose.
I didn’t plan or bring tissue
But I did find a private corner.

Forgive me, I digress.
This isn’t about me.
It’s about how impressed
They’ll be
And how pleased 
You must feel.

So accomplished,

Triumphant,

At my willing expense.