The Surge of Waves

I make the choiceless decision to go on,
To trudge ahead,
Stepping, stepping,
Walking, ambled, forward.
The going is easy until it isn’t.

A wave arrives
Like cursed ides.
Here, a surge
Of hurt to arise.

There was a time before it came back,
For I had found,
Distractions, distractions,
Smiling for the world.
The mask had concealed until it didn’t.

A wave, memories, pain
Has upsurged again.
Now, a flurry
Of sadness, a bloodstain.

I’d managed to sooth the burn,
A reversion of peaceful relief,
Praying, praying,
Coping through days.
It worked until it wouldn’t.

A wave returned,
Serenity adjourned.
Then, an onslaught
Of torture emerged.

A huge wave haunts me,

Suffering, taunts me.
Again, a chase

Of who doesn’t want me.


And agony.

How cruel,

Damned waves,

And aching.


The memory of what once was,
And what was to be,
No longer holds hope,

Yet I did all I should.

Waves,I squirm,
I move,

I run.

But once the wave comes,

It can’t be undone.

I check behind me;

Oh, how did it find me?

I moan,
I weep,

I writhe.


The memories of stolen bliss rebirths,
Over and over.

So, I long for the next moment
I can get to scream,
To cry alone, where no one knows.


Will it fade?
I’m unsure whether I am forever changed,
Fragments remain.


3 thoughts on “The Surge of Waves

Add yours

    1. you SO totally got it. it’s like labor contractions are, emotional pain is. you know it’s coming and you’re dreading it like here it comes here it comes here it comes! yeah this one was off the rails raw just trying to put tangibly how it feels when you’re trying to get over something but it comes and goes, the emotional pain of it, the memory of it. you think you’re out of it but one day you’re back in the sadness


      1. I am sorry, if I’m reading your comment correctly.
        I know the feeling you described later in your comment. Sometimes people don’t let you heal, and they keep tearing off bandages and pouring salt in the wounds.

        Liked by 1 person

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